What is destressifying?

SODA or POP?

If you’re from the Midwest like me, your eyes probably went straight to the word POP. But this blog isn’t about fizzy, sugary drinks. This is about two techniques for destressifying. (Please note the “d” in destressifying and in davidji are always lower case.)

destressifying is a term coined by davidji, an internationally recognized stress-management expert, meditation master, and creator of Masters of Wisdom Meditation Teacher Training program. In his book, destressifying – The Real-World Guide to Personal Empowerment, Lasting Fulfillment, and Peace of Mind, he defines destressifying as “our ability to easily adapt to stressful situations and to adversity without experiencing the physical and emotional negative repercussions of stress.” If we can allow ourselves to deal with daily stresses as challenges to grow from rather than threats, we can more easily manage major crises.

Short term experiences of stress can be a good thing. The term, eustress, refers to good stress where hormones flood our system for a short duration to achieve a goal. It’s what we feel when we’re working on a project and we’re “in the zone.” Those hormones grow a part of our brain called the hippocampus, which is responsible for learning, memory, and special orientation. It’s when those hormones constantly flood our brain that good stress turns to bad stress.

Chronic stress forces the body to keep the hormones flowing, especially cortisol. When we are repeatedly faced with difficult situations, such as the loss of a job, bills to pay, kids to care for, a traumatic event, our nervous system can’t pause long enough to relax our body. Our body stays in a fight or flight mode revving up our fears which interrupts our clarity. Continuing high levels of cortisol hinder can create anxiety and depression, headaches, memory problems, and trouble sleeping. We tend to be more impulsive, reacting instead of responding. Reacting can lead to regrets. We need to be able to calm the nervous system to determine an appropriate response to a given situation. This is where the destressifying techniques come in.

First, I’ll talk about Reaching for SODA, davidji’s technique. Reaching for SODA is a way to interrupt an automatic reaction to something that irritates you. What is the first thing you feel when something irritates you or angers you? Is it heat in your chest? A clenching of your jaw? The moment you notice this physical reaction means it is time to Reach for SODA.

Stop

Observe

Detach

Awaken

Stop what you are doing.

Observe your surroundings. See if you can look at the physical environment, whom you’re with, where you are, from above.

Detach from the drama of the moment. Take a deep breath and move back a few inches. As you exhale release the tension.

Awaken to the calmer version of you. Ask yourself, What would the best version of me say or do in this situation?

Reaching for SODA helps you deactivate your automatic reactions to stress. Your emotional intelligence grows and your physical body destressifies.

POP is an adaptation that I have created. I have no research to back up my technique other than I’ve presented it to some fellow mediators and received positive responses.  The premise is the same, to interrupt our automatic reactions to stressful situations and give our body time to calm so we can have more clarity.

Pause

Observe

Presence

Pause before your say or do something that is not the true you. Just like Stop in Reaching for SODA, you are interrupting the momentum of the scene.

Observe where you are and whom you are with. Take a forty-thousand-foot view to temporarily distance yourself from the situation.

Presence involves coming back to the situation with more awareness to be the best version of you. From this stance, you can choose the appropriate response. Sometimes that means not responding at all.

With appreciation,

Robin

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